Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Saved by Grace - Shane Barnard
Just a singin’ a gospel song today
Get a ready to send the years
Of guilt and shame away
The years of failing
The years of nailing up yourself
To a cross you can’t bear
That’s why He was there
What a beautiful day
When He washed all our sins away
What a beautiful day
By grace you have been saved
By grace you have been saved
By grace you have been saved
By grace through faith
Through faith
Even the faith I have to sing
Halle, halle, hallelujah to my King
It’s freely given
That I might not boast in myself but Him
Can’t sing it enough
Say it enough
Play it enough
When will I get it
I can’t earn it
And no I don’t deserve
Can’t say it enough
“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Eph 2:8)
Get a ready to send the years
Of guilt and shame away
The years of failing
The years of nailing up yourself
To a cross you can’t bear
That’s why He was there
What a beautiful day
When He washed all our sins away
What a beautiful day
By grace you have been saved
By grace you have been saved
By grace you have been saved
By grace through faith
Through faith
Even the faith I have to sing
Halle, halle, hallelujah to my King
It’s freely given
That I might not boast in myself but Him
Can’t sing it enough
Say it enough
Play it enough
When will I get it
I can’t earn it
And no I don’t deserve
Can’t say it enough
“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Eph 2:8)
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Trojan Condom Ad and the Curse of Perfectionism
I just saw an ad for Trojan condoms. I'm disgusted. I only looked up to watch the ad because I heard some music I liked and wanted to know what it was for. The ad shows a guy and a girl walking and then at the bottom flashes the words, "Other than abstinence there is only one way to protect yourself. Use a condom every time." The ad is targeting protection against HIV. Besides the fact that I don't think these ads should even be shown on television, the message that it sends it completely wrong. The ad is promoting sex...which is a wonderful and beautiful thing that God has given us WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED. The couple is obviously not married. When did having sex before marriage become acceptable? It's not! Abstinence is the ONLY way to protect yourself. Sex is one way to contract HIV but it's not the only way. So even though the ad throws out a way to protect yourself from HIV, it promotes sex. Maybe the Trojan company feels responsible for all the people with HIV so they put out ads to make them feel good. But the message that says sex before marriage is acceptable is worse than the message that you can get HIV from sex. If Trojan wants to feel good about something, they should say sex before marriage is wrong. I'm so frustrated by this I can't even write about it. It's simple - no sex before marriage, condom or not.
Breathing...deep breaths...woo
So I'm plagued with being a perfectionist - not something I like to really admit to. I have just spent all day in the dark room, minus a few hours for class and lunch trying to develop just one print. I went through about seven negatives trying to find the right one to use. For various reasons, they all didn't work. I finally settled on one that is alright but not my favorite. The one I really wanted to use was out of focus but you can't tell until you blow it up. Maybe I'm just a little bitter about that one because it was a great picture. The one I decided to use came out alright but there's a mark on the paper. It will be a few points off which isn't that big of a deal, but now I'm sitting here wondering whether or not I should go back up to the dark room to try and perfect it. I keep telling myself no - that a few points off is going to be alright...but then I feel like I'm not doing my best work. Ahh...I dislike these thoughts of dissatisfaction.
Breathing...deep breaths...woo
So I'm plagued with being a perfectionist - not something I like to really admit to. I have just spent all day in the dark room, minus a few hours for class and lunch trying to develop just one print. I went through about seven negatives trying to find the right one to use. For various reasons, they all didn't work. I finally settled on one that is alright but not my favorite. The one I really wanted to use was out of focus but you can't tell until you blow it up. Maybe I'm just a little bitter about that one because it was a great picture. The one I decided to use came out alright but there's a mark on the paper. It will be a few points off which isn't that big of a deal, but now I'm sitting here wondering whether or not I should go back up to the dark room to try and perfect it. I keep telling myself no - that a few points off is going to be alright...but then I feel like I'm not doing my best work. Ahh...I dislike these thoughts of dissatisfaction.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
A Little Study Music
I've got Rachel Yamagata's album Happenstance playing on repeat. You should check it out...now. This is a CD that I can actaully do my homework too. Yeah, I listen to music sometime when I study and this is one CD that doesn't distract me when I'm doing that. It makes studying just a little bit more enjoyable.
Bellville
Yesterday was Matthew's birthday and I am so thankful the God blessed the earth with him 20 years ago, is blessing me with him now, and yesterday blessed us with beautiful weather for his birthday. Matthew was in Indiana playing soccer, but at least I got to enjoy the weather here in Texas for him, haha..It really was a beautiful day.
After a rather long and overwhelming week, I decided to go home to Bellville on Friday night and spend Saturday there with my parents. My parents didn't get home on Friday night until 10:00. They had to take some business partners from Africa out to eat. My mom said they were "schmoozing" to get a deal on my future wedding in Africa, haha. Hey, that's fine with me. I'll get married at the Royal Malewne, one of the nicest safari lodges in South Africa, who wouldn't? But since my parents were out having fun, I spent some time at my grandmother's house, indulging in oatmeal raisin cookies!
On Saturday I woke up at 9:00 to an absolutely gorgeous day and joined my mother and Mrs. Bader for tea and coffee at Magpies, a little coffe shop on the square, much better than any Starbucks. We sat at a little table next to the open door and talked for an hour and a half. I didn't realize how much I miss the pace of Bellville until I was sitting with them, enjoying just talking about green tea, guys, and life in general and not worrying about a chapter in a book for class or about work that needed to be done before the beginning of the week and probably wouldn't get done. It was just an hour and a half of enjoying the company of others. I think this is something I don't do often enough. People are so important and desire to be loved. You can show love just by sitting and talking with someone, without worrying about something else - just talk and listen and be happy about it and the other person will know that you care about them. God desires for us to love one another, and this is a simple way of loving.
My dad joined us a for about 20 minutes - we shared a cinnamon roll and then he took me out to play with his new toy - a 1980 Jeep with huge tires. He loves it. It really is a lot of fun to take out and just ride around in. He got it to play with in the country, but it's a lot of fun in town also. He taught me to drive it yesterday. It's a stick shift and the last time I tried to learn to drive a stick shift, I nearly ran into a tree with Nikki in the car and later got stuck on a log, also with Nikki. But my dad was patient with me as we were driving through town. He made fun of me some, but it was so fun. I'm still not very good at it, but I guess that just means I'll have to go back and practice, haha. We then picked up my mom so she could go get a coke, and then picked up some good BBQ and took it to my grandmother's house.
Later my mom and I ran to Brenham to run some errands and enjoy the day. In the evening my dad and I worked on a project for one of my classes together. I love that I got to spend time with both of them together, but I also got to spend time with each of them alone. I love my parents so much and really enjoy getting to be around them. I know most people my age don't think of their parents like I do, but I am so thankful for them. They really are two of my best friends and I think that's alright for your parents to be your best friends. They did a great job raising me and were wonderful parents while I was living with them. They are still doing a great job being parents, but they are also more friends now than they used to be and I think that's just because I am older and can appreciate them more. I'm so happy I went home and spent time with them. When you are overwhelmed, sometimes you just need to get back to your roots...I'm glad my roots are in the country with the slow pace of life!
After a rather long and overwhelming week, I decided to go home to Bellville on Friday night and spend Saturday there with my parents. My parents didn't get home on Friday night until 10:00. They had to take some business partners from Africa out to eat. My mom said they were "schmoozing" to get a deal on my future wedding in Africa, haha. Hey, that's fine with me. I'll get married at the Royal Malewne, one of the nicest safari lodges in South Africa, who wouldn't? But since my parents were out having fun, I spent some time at my grandmother's house, indulging in oatmeal raisin cookies!
On Saturday I woke up at 9:00 to an absolutely gorgeous day and joined my mother and Mrs. Bader for tea and coffee at Magpies, a little coffe shop on the square, much better than any Starbucks. We sat at a little table next to the open door and talked for an hour and a half. I didn't realize how much I miss the pace of Bellville until I was sitting with them, enjoying just talking about green tea, guys, and life in general and not worrying about a chapter in a book for class or about work that needed to be done before the beginning of the week and probably wouldn't get done. It was just an hour and a half of enjoying the company of others. I think this is something I don't do often enough. People are so important and desire to be loved. You can show love just by sitting and talking with someone, without worrying about something else - just talk and listen and be happy about it and the other person will know that you care about them. God desires for us to love one another, and this is a simple way of loving.
My dad joined us a for about 20 minutes - we shared a cinnamon roll and then he took me out to play with his new toy - a 1980 Jeep with huge tires. He loves it. It really is a lot of fun to take out and just ride around in. He got it to play with in the country, but it's a lot of fun in town also. He taught me to drive it yesterday. It's a stick shift and the last time I tried to learn to drive a stick shift, I nearly ran into a tree with Nikki in the car and later got stuck on a log, also with Nikki. But my dad was patient with me as we were driving through town. He made fun of me some, but it was so fun. I'm still not very good at it, but I guess that just means I'll have to go back and practice, haha. We then picked up my mom so she could go get a coke, and then picked up some good BBQ and took it to my grandmother's house.
Later my mom and I ran to Brenham to run some errands and enjoy the day. In the evening my dad and I worked on a project for one of my classes together. I love that I got to spend time with both of them together, but I also got to spend time with each of them alone. I love my parents so much and really enjoy getting to be around them. I know most people my age don't think of their parents like I do, but I am so thankful for them. They really are two of my best friends and I think that's alright for your parents to be your best friends. They did a great job raising me and were wonderful parents while I was living with them. They are still doing a great job being parents, but they are also more friends now than they used to be and I think that's just because I am older and can appreciate them more. I'm so happy I went home and spent time with them. When you are overwhelmed, sometimes you just need to get back to your roots...I'm glad my roots are in the country with the slow pace of life!
Thursday, October 06, 2005
In the Light
Bringing this song back from the past - DC Talk - In the Light, 1995
This used to be one of my favorite songs so I'm bringing it back out. The cd, Jesus Freak, is great. Sadly my copy has been listened to and loved a little too much and now I have to replace it...that's a good thing though.
I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from you
I am the king of excuses
I’ve got one for every selfish thing I do
What’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a savior
I wanna be in the light
As you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light
The disease of self runs through my blood
It’s a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control
Tell me, what’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a savior
Honesty becomes me
[there’s nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[in your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[and riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[has been sentenced to this earth]
Has been sentenced to this earth
Tell me, what’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a savior
[there’s no other place that I want to be]
[no other place that I can see]
[a place to be that’s just right]
[someday I’m gonna be in the light]
[you are in the light]
[that’s where I need to be]
[that’s right where I need to be]
This used to be one of my favorite songs so I'm bringing it back out. The cd, Jesus Freak, is great. Sadly my copy has been listened to and loved a little too much and now I have to replace it...that's a good thing though.
I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from you
I am the king of excuses
I’ve got one for every selfish thing I do
What’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a savior
I wanna be in the light
As you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light
The disease of self runs through my blood
It’s a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control
Tell me, what’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a savior
Honesty becomes me
[there’s nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[in your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[and riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[has been sentenced to this earth]
Has been sentenced to this earth
Tell me, what’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a savior
[there’s no other place that I want to be]
[no other place that I can see]
[a place to be that’s just right]
[someday I’m gonna be in the light]
[you are in the light]
[that’s where I need to be]
[that’s right where I need to be]
My Parents
I am so thankful for my parents. I have a "group" project to do but don't have a group. I asked my dad for some help with it and told him my project and without skipping a beat said, "Well you and I will be a group. We'll get it done." It was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. Both my mom and my dad always know what to say and do to make me feel better. I am so blessed to have them as my parents.
Last night I got to eat supper with my dad. He met me in Brenham with a lens for my camera and we ate supper together. I got to have a "Daddy - Daughter - Date" (as little Haley would say). He then filled up my car with gas, cleaned my windshield, and gave me some cash to get a roll of film. He's so willing to help me and I really appreciate that. I feel sorry for people who don't have parents that are so willing to help them. I don't know what I would do without my parents.
I talk to my mom at least once everyday - sometimes on the phone and sometimes through email. It's nice to talk to them both so often. I need it to get through my dad...they are such an encouragement to me. I love you Mom and Dad!
Last night I got to eat supper with my dad. He met me in Brenham with a lens for my camera and we ate supper together. I got to have a "Daddy - Daughter - Date" (as little Haley would say). He then filled up my car with gas, cleaned my windshield, and gave me some cash to get a roll of film. He's so willing to help me and I really appreciate that. I feel sorry for people who don't have parents that are so willing to help them. I don't know what I would do without my parents.
I talk to my mom at least once everyday - sometimes on the phone and sometimes through email. It's nice to talk to them both so often. I need it to get through my dad...they are such an encouragement to me. I love you Mom and Dad!
Monday, October 03, 2005
Sunday, October 02, 2005
On the Road to Mexico
This past weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to go to Mexico with my church family, parents, and sister. In a later post, I will be writing about the people I met in Mexico and the homes we built there, but this particular post is about a guy I met on the way there. I'll first start with a little background information.
One night this past summer I was in my room saying my prayers. All of a sudden my prayers for people I knew turned into a prayer for two people going through a divorce. I thought it was strange that I started praying for these people because I didn't know them but decided that God must have put it on my heart and so I kept praying. In the morning I asked my mother if we knew anyone going through a divorce and she said no. I kind of just let it go after that and didn't dwell on not actually knowing the person I was praying for. Every once in a while, I would keep praying for this family.
Last weekend at church we were commissioned for the mission trip this past weekend. Afterwards, a man came up to me and thanked me for going on the trip then asked me to look out for his friend John who had recently been through a divorce and was just starting to get back into going to church. I assured the man that I would look out for him and then began praying for him.
On Thursday the group picked up my family and me in Bellville. When I climbed into the van and I sat next to a young man - John. After a little while on the road we started talking with each other. I found out many things about him - most importantly that he was recently divorced and had just started attending church again. He came on the trip because he is an architect and the first day he went back to church they announced this housing project. He thought he might enjoy it since it's what he does for a living so here he was.After we talked, he fell asleep and I sat there and took in our conversation together then it hit me. Duh, this is the John the man I met at church wanted me to watch out for. This is the John that I had been praying for the last week.
Last night we shared with the group our experiences from the past weekend. John spoke up and talked about how he had the hardest year of his life this past year, hadn't been to church in a while, had lost everything he had worked so hard for and had thought about suicide...brought tears to so many people. After a little while, I spoke up and told everyone I was so blessed to work with each of them this weekend but directed my comments toward John. I told him the story of the man who came up to me after church and asked me to watch out for him, told him I had been praying for him and was so blessed by his presence on this trip. I gave him a hug and then someone else spoke up.
After everyone who wanted to share something did, it hit me. I had actually been praying for John since the summer, not just this past week. John is the person I started praying for the night I prayed for the family going through the divorce. Today I told him about my experience this summer and he was so amazed that someone could be praying for him that didn't even know him. He asked me what I prayed and how I prayed and how I knew to pray. But how do you answer that without saying, "It was God." You can't get around that. It was all God.
This afternoon on the way home I had the chance to talk to him about the Lord some more. He asked about a bracelet I was wearing and I told him what it meant. I opened my Bible and showed him where the story in Matthew was found - where Jesus says he will make you fishers of men. I told him how Jesus wants us to advance the Gospel and then I had the chance to talk to him about it.
It was so great to talk to him about everything, to find out so much about him and be there for him. God works in such wonderful ways, doesn't he? How great is our God!!
One night this past summer I was in my room saying my prayers. All of a sudden my prayers for people I knew turned into a prayer for two people going through a divorce. I thought it was strange that I started praying for these people because I didn't know them but decided that God must have put it on my heart and so I kept praying. In the morning I asked my mother if we knew anyone going through a divorce and she said no. I kind of just let it go after that and didn't dwell on not actually knowing the person I was praying for. Every once in a while, I would keep praying for this family.
Last weekend at church we were commissioned for the mission trip this past weekend. Afterwards, a man came up to me and thanked me for going on the trip then asked me to look out for his friend John who had recently been through a divorce and was just starting to get back into going to church. I assured the man that I would look out for him and then began praying for him.
On Thursday the group picked up my family and me in Bellville. When I climbed into the van and I sat next to a young man - John. After a little while on the road we started talking with each other. I found out many things about him - most importantly that he was recently divorced and had just started attending church again. He came on the trip because he is an architect and the first day he went back to church they announced this housing project. He thought he might enjoy it since it's what he does for a living so here he was.After we talked, he fell asleep and I sat there and took in our conversation together then it hit me. Duh, this is the John the man I met at church wanted me to watch out for. This is the John that I had been praying for the last week.
Last night we shared with the group our experiences from the past weekend. John spoke up and talked about how he had the hardest year of his life this past year, hadn't been to church in a while, had lost everything he had worked so hard for and had thought about suicide...brought tears to so many people. After a little while, I spoke up and told everyone I was so blessed to work with each of them this weekend but directed my comments toward John. I told him the story of the man who came up to me after church and asked me to watch out for him, told him I had been praying for him and was so blessed by his presence on this trip. I gave him a hug and then someone else spoke up.
After everyone who wanted to share something did, it hit me. I had actually been praying for John since the summer, not just this past week. John is the person I started praying for the night I prayed for the family going through the divorce. Today I told him about my experience this summer and he was so amazed that someone could be praying for him that didn't even know him. He asked me what I prayed and how I prayed and how I knew to pray. But how do you answer that without saying, "It was God." You can't get around that. It was all God.
This afternoon on the way home I had the chance to talk to him about the Lord some more. He asked about a bracelet I was wearing and I told him what it meant. I opened my Bible and showed him where the story in Matthew was found - where Jesus says he will make you fishers of men. I told him how Jesus wants us to advance the Gospel and then I had the chance to talk to him about it.
It was so great to talk to him about everything, to find out so much about him and be there for him. God works in such wonderful ways, doesn't he? How great is our God!!
People from Mexico
Here are a few pictures from my past weekend at Mexico. I've got so much to write about my weekend. These pictures are of some of the people...children...I was around. The smallest little girl - Magali - took my heart from the moment I saw her.
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