italy, here i come

I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow and have a slight pain in my chest. Anxiety seems to have taken over the excitement I am feeling to finally be out of College Station. I've never spent more than probably two weeks away from anyone in my family. Living only 50 minutes away from home, it is very simple to drive home whenever I feel like it, even if it's just for the evening. My cousin tried to put it in perspective for me - 9 hours away...that's all...just like going to Texas Tech. Instead of having 8 or 9 hours of land between us, we will have an ocean...yeah, that ocean doesn't help to put it into perpective, does it? I'll just stick with the 9 hours. I guess the anxieties I'm feeling are just of the unknown...traveling without my parents, traveling without Sara...what it's even going to be like not to see Sara every day or every weekend...

I spent two months apart from Matthew a couple of weeks ago, so what's another three months, right? A freaking long time - that's what. I am trying to push thoughts of not seeing him or my family away right now though...I've already cried so much that my eyes have not stopped hurting since Saturday evening. I'm absolutely exhausted from the outpouring of emotion, but I can't sleep.

I'm so excited to have the opportunity to study in Italy. It's going to be amazing. All of my saddness is rooted in the fact that I want the people I love to be there with me. I want to experience this with them.